In response to Nike Women’s “My Butt is Big,” ad I saw:
I am tall, skinny, and lanky
Like a praying mantis
and thousands of pull-ups, push-ups, and squats
Have made my body leaner
Definitely not bigger
Thats OK with me
It means I’m often overlooked
When pitted against those “bigger” than me
But I tend to over-deliver
It’s a green light
To eat whatever I want
Even though I eat Paleo
It’s a lion laying in wait
To pounce on any competition in my sights
That may have forgotten I’m here
I am tall and skinny
That’s OK with me
And to those who think bigger is better
I invite you to come workout with me
When I tell people that I am in better shape at 30 than I was at 10, 15, and 21, people often look at me in disbelief. I was always the “chubby” kid who was medically excused from recess and never was a part of any sport, not even as a spectator. I was born with scoliosis and ARNOLD-CHIARI MALFORMATION a rare genetic disorder in which parts of the brain are formed abnormally. I had corrective surgery for it at the tender yet very brave age of 13, and although the surgery allowed for the prevention of further nerve damage, some of the damage was already done, and it left me with Chronic Pain that made my teens and 20s pretty unbearable and downright miserable.
Throughout my 20s I lived as a Zombie and took high doses of pain killers. I would take up to 3600 mg of a nerve pain medication meant for diabetics and to control seizures in epileptics that could easily knock down a HORSE! My primary care physician told me once that she was surprised I wasn’t slithering across the floor like a slug. The medication slowed my system down to the point where I would fall asleep faster than any narcoleptic (many times at the wheel, yikes!) and my metabolism was not just slow, it was at a complete halt, causing me to hit an all time record weight gain that made my back pain ten times worse and my mental state of mind in perpetual negativity.
The pain medication was causing me more problems than the chronic pain itself, and it wasn’t like the pain was getting any better, in fact it was worse. My body would quickly get immune to the prescribed dose and often it would have to be readjusted higher so that I could feel some relief.
The low self-esteem, the habitual negative thoughts, and always feeling physically uncomfortable often made me feel near suicidal, because there is no way you can be on all that medication, feel that daily tortuous pain, and it not affect your thoughts and mental health in some way, shape, or form.
I had no strength in my shoulders and arms. I couldn’t hold a 20 lb. baby without feeling pain and discomfort radiating down my nerve damaged left arm and wanting to pass the child to someone else immediately so that my arm wouldn’t collapse. I would often wonder what quality of life I would have and had resolved within myself that this was the life I was destined to live, one of pain and discomfort, one of misery and discontent. I labeled myself this medical incompetent person who would never find relief.
As I approached my 29th birthday I begin to think about the life I was living. I wanted to be healthy and feel alive. The pain medication had stripped me of any sort of life and I walked around numb and almost cathartic, as my body continued to suffer pain. Something within me began to awaken, or at least was trying to, but I wasn’t quite ready yet because I was being numbed by the medication.
I decided to wean myself off all the medication. It was not easy and the withdrawal symptoms, although I was told would not occur, were tough to handle. I was going through a detox, although the neurologist would never admit to it. Little by little I began to awaken, to see life for what it really was, a wonderful and exciting privilege to be taken advantage of and to be LIVED! I began to see some weight begin to drop off, but it was a difficult and arduous journey, that is until I began CrossFit.
Before I began CrossFit I had dropped around 50 lbs. by reducing my carb intake and eating healthier, but my muscles were still weak and I was very unfit. When I was introduced to CrossFit Ignite in Westwood, New Jersey through my sister, I was immediately hooked, especially when I had met coaches Steve and Tina, who welcomed me with open arms and a kettlebell! It stopped being about weight loss for me and became a total life changing experience from that point on.
I began to immerse myself into this whole new world, this new culture, this CrossFit. I was meeting amazing individuals from all walks of life who had one common goal, to live their healthiest and best life. These weren’t just your average joes, these were people with a fire and passion for living that was infectious and I quickly was drawn to them. I wanted to be one of these CrossFitters until I realized I already was.
I began CrossFit in April 2010, and already I have seen a tremendous change in my body. I have not only dropped an extra 20 lbs., but I have muscle definition where there once was fat. Remember I said I couldn’t lift a 20 lb. baby? Well now I can Turkish-Get-Up 35 lbs. on each side. Remember that “Chronic Pain”? Well the only pain I experience now is from the Kettlebell bruises or Deadlift scratches on my shins. No more Chronic Pain!!!!!!
I promise you that this is proof that if you take the time to honor your body that it will honor you in return. I do not even suffer from discomfort as I once plagued with. Although certain exercises are challenging for me, because I had never used certain muscles, they are far from impossible! My 6 month goals is to perform a kip and to hold a hand stand, and this I will do because I have seen myself accomplish things through CrossFit that I never thought possible once.
Now, I believe that there are no limits to what our bodies can do. I was given limitations as a child, teen, and young adult because of a medical condition and I labeled myself just that and lived as just that, as someone with pain, physical and mental. Now, the only label I am proud to share with the world is “CROSSFITTER”.
My training started back in middle school at a Gold Gym in Southern California. I had always been active in sports whether it was soccer, basketball, or baseball growing up. When I realized that being a 6′, 220 lb. 7th grader was not going to cut it in those sports I focused on football. I began training with a family friend who had played college football at the University of Oklahoma. He was big, strong, and taught me the foundations for lifting; both power and olympic style. I trained with Chad for almost 2 years, and by the time I began my freshman year of high school I was a 200 lb. bencher, 250 lb. squater, among other lifts.
I enrolled at Esperanza High School in Anaheim, CA in 2000. Esperanza was a major football powerhouse in Orange County football in the late 1990s and early 2000s. Because football and weightlifting were so closely tied, our weight room facility was second to none. We had lifting platforms, stacks of olympic plates, we even had lifting shoes. I began training with our coaches immediately before my freshman year, and my lifts skyrocketed. We were taught correct and proper form, how to gain weight (football style; not paleo), and also how to program our weight lifting schedule for optimum performance. Our coaches were also olympic lifting certified and believe that competition on all levels was necessary. My sophmore year I entered my first weightlifting competition. It was at a high school in Newport Beach, CA and I placed 2nd. After that I was hooked. I traveled around the country competing. At the National Junior Olympics, during my junior year I placed 2nd among all boys 17 yrs. and younger in the 105 kg weight class.
I graduated from high school and continued to play football as a walk on at the University of Arizona. The weight room facility here completely blew my mind. We had a 60 yard indoor astro-turf track, over two dozen lifting platforms, enough bumper plates for the whole team to lift together. It was extremely impressive. Looking back, our workouts were Crossfit style; very high intensity and usually quicker than an average football lifting session. Although we never did a “Fran” or “Helen” the lifting was still comparative. In college I was a defensive lineman. At the height of my college career, I was 6’1, 290 lbs. I could bench press 490 lbs., deadlift over 600lbs., squat over 650lbs. But I had a huge gut, I ate almost anything I could get my hands on, and lived a pretty unhealthy lifestyle. I realized at the beginning of my last school year, that I was not going to make the NFL and began trying to slim down. When I graduated I had already lost approximately 40lbs. by eating what I did not know was “Paleo”.
I moved by to Orange County, CA when I graduated and joined back up at my globo-gym; even getting my friend Dominic to train me. He was a good trainer who knew how to push me, however he made the mistake of introducing me to my first Crossfit gym. It was a garage gym in Yorba Linda, CA which is now the affiliate known as Primitive Crossfit. Dominic and I drove over to this random house and when the garage door opened, there was an old C2 rower, some home made boxes, kettle bells, and slam balls. I had no idea what to think. However, over the next year I trained there almost everyday. Matt Charney, my coach had to convince me not to come in some days to help me avoid over training. It was the beginning of my Crossfit addiction.
My coach convinced me to enter the Orange County Throwdown competition that took place in January 2010. I was slightly reluctant at first but then jumped head into training. I ended up place 3rd out of 60 male competitors and became hooked on competing instantly. I entered the Southern California Los Angeles sectionals the day after the O.C. Throwdown to really test my competition level. I found my “goat” pretty quickly was double unders and handstand push-ups. I ended up placing 45th out of 85 competitors. Although I didn’t qualify for the Regionals, I began hitting the gym extremely hard and have become pretty proficient at doing double-unders.
I moved down to Hermosa Beach in early January and joined Crossfit Southbay.The competition within the gym is amazing. Everyday the WOD is posted on the gyms’ blog and the competition begins to brew. I’ve loved every minute of training there. The coaches are all incredibly motivating, the members all care about each other and it’s become quite the family. Every weekend we all get together, whether it’s at the gym for an extra weekend WOD, the beach for some volleyball, or at a restaurant or bar for dinner and some drinks.
Crossfit has helped me in so many ways that I cannot begin to describe. It’s taught me how to train with others in a competitive yet constructive atmosphere. It has also taught me how important a good and well thought out diet can be. When I first started Crossfit, which is almost 2 years ago I kept hearing that it was a cult and could become addictive. After two years and two completely different gyms, I now understand why. It’s the best “cult” I could’ve joined.
